Brene Brown touches into something we deeply understand. Particularly at this time of year. 'Tis the season for a lot of holly jolly - and a good deal of facing into the loss of loved ones, loneliness, and "What do I really want?" uncertainty. If we're not already practicing it, this is a good time to start being an empathetic presence in one another's lives.
Brown and other mental health professionals and researchers are expanding their work into study around how we might thrive. Resilience work and positive psychology (more than just thinking positively) have found their way into practice, and that's good news for all of us.
Building our empathy muscle
A friend recently gave me the book, "There's no Good Card for This." For a gently playful smack upside the head on how-to empathy, this is a good resource. It provides the basics on caring for loved ones when things go side ways. Bonus? There's guidance on how to care for Self while compassionately supporting others.
If a book feels like a stretch, WikiHow has some excellent pointers on reaching out, and caring for self, too. In part one of their Wiki article, "Connecting with others through empathy," they offer six helpful and creative tools for moving from compassionate thought to loving action.
I particularly love part two, though: Building up your empathy. There they offer 7 ways to effectively and sustainably work this muscle. They suggest practicing curiosity, volunteering, and challenging your own prejudice. The challenge? Think outside of the box you've comfortably settled into. See the world from the perspective of your loved one, the stranger on the bus, your friend who's struggling. They go on to name things like meditation and actually attempting to walk a mile in another person's "shoes" (life experience).
We're in this together
Give Brene Brown a listen. Read Crowe/McDowell's book on empathy, or give that Wiki article a glance. Set yourself up to show yourself, and the people you care about, a little empathy this holiday season.
Funny is a good go-to on chill days in our Canadian autumn. For some, the winter blahs are no laughing matter. Seeking out the silly, the light-hearted, and the goofy can be good medicine all through a long winter.
Funny Fan of the Night
Bull riding isn't a sport we'd typically fall asleep at. But one hard-working dive master couldn't keep his eyes open.
"Lookit how it goes to us!"
McIntyre on raising kids
Keeping it light
A little bit of funny can go a long way when the daily news is grinding you down. Duty and making ends meet can get wearing. So, find a laugh or two each day to indulge.
Charlie Chaplin said, "A day without laughter is wasted." Are there ways that you can add levity to your life? To the lives of others around you?
I'm not a social media gal, but I have friends who regularly send me a quick text with a meme, link, or comic that brings a laugh. They're small effort can reap big reward in my frame of mind. Are there sites and sources that you go to for a giggle? Share them and spread the smile.
'Need a little help finding something new to laugh at?
Check out The Awkward Yeti and their "Heart and Brain" comic strips.
Curious about some of the science of why we laugh at all? BBC offers a glimpse into why we giggle.
Whatever your style of humor, may you find something to tickle your funny bone today!
Autumn colors abound. We've just celebrated the first day of our 2019 Canadian Fall. Warm air, brilliant hues, and good strong winds to lean into.
TripSavvy Top 10 Fall color spots
Autumn colors, coast to coast, are highlighted in TripSavvy's article by Jane McLean, Best Places to See Fall Colors in Canada. Explore our country and what it has to offer in the prairies, by the ocean, and in the mountains. Our forests are breathtaking at this time of year!
Putting on the Autumn kilometers
I have the happy luck of living near the Rocky Mountains in Alberta. Tonight's walk took me out to tromp in the foothills. In a short 45 minute trek along the winding, hilly paths of Glenbow Ranch, my friend and I were witness to a dozen blue birds, ambling deer, and the distant howl of coyotes. Bear tracks were everywhere, so carefully spaced by a determined lord of the foothills. Our elevation gave us a perfect line of sight on a farmer's combining precision (such straight lines!). And my friend's dog, Chippy, gleefully sniffed all the sniffs in the prairie grasses lining the paths.
The colors in the park run red, yellow, orange, and countless greens. Berries and seeds grace varied plant life -- they, too, exploding in whites, greens, reds, and oranges. The sun set as we climbed our last kilometer. The grace of hills shrouded in one another's shadows, while some of their faces basked a few extra minutes in the evening light, was palpable.
Breathe deep. Enjoy the vibrancy and artistry of Mother Nature as autumn winds us toward winter's cozy at-home-ness.
They bring music therapy to rural, urban and remote communities. Their work brings music programs to people on the autism spectrum, and to those living with Alzheimer’s disease. Further, they engage those challenged by anxiety and depression. CMTF also reaches people rehabilitating speech or motor skills, as well as those needing pre- and post-natal care. And they don't stop there. Living with a brain injury? They can help!
Canadian Music Therapy Fund
CMTF does this by awarding grants, scholarships and fellowships to innovative certified music therapists. As a result, these therapist are then empowered! They use their talents and skill to make music therapy accessible close to home.
Work that matters
The Science is in: music therapy works. That said, music therapy is not a widely recognized form of therapy. Private insurance and government programs do not typically fund such care. This means that if you can't pay for it, you cannot access it.
Music therapy helps us to move and communicate. It helps us to cope, and to better understand ourselves. It can even inspire us to reach our full potential. CMTF wants to make music therapy available to anyone who needs it.
Together, they are transforming lives. With your support, access to music therapy for all Canadians is possible!
Help the CMTF hit the high notes
Donate your car through our program today and choose our charity of the month as your donation recipient!
Speeding tickets don't land in our mail box very often. But when they do, they hurt.
Notice of offence
Given the number of vehicles rolling out of our driveway on a given day, we do okay around here. Four of the adults living in our home drive for work and school and leisure. Our little Scion XB just flipped the odometer to a visually satisfying, 111,111 kms. So, we're on the road a lot. And some days our pedal pushers can get a little heavy. But we don't pull a lot of tickets.
I'm just about to online pay the $233.00 I owe our beautiful city for my most recent traffic violation. I was driving over 80 kms/hr in a 60 km zone. I deserve a strong consequence. Of course, I want to defend myself just a little. My son looked at the ticket, noted the location, and was immediately sympathetic, "Oh, Mom. That's such a bad spot! The speed drops like crazy from one side of the intersection to the other!"
A little empathy and validation are nice. But I still deserve the ticket. I've driven that patch of road before, and I should have remembered it was a steep slow down.
Playing it safe
I love driving fast. But speed limits are posted for good reason. Safety matters. The Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police and Transport Canada’s website include the following statistics from the CCMTA: Speed and Intersection Safety Management, Annual Monitoring Report 2009:
1. 27% of fatalities and 19% of serious injuries involve speeding
2. 40% of speeding drivers involved in fatal crashes were 16 to 24 years of age
3. Most drivers killed in speed-related crashes were the ones speeding
4. 80% of young adult passengers who were killed in a speeding crash were in the vehicle with a speeding driver of similar age
5. Single-vehicle crashes accounted for more than 50% of speeding deaths and serious injuries
6. 1 in 3 speeding drivers involved in a fatal crash had been drinking
7. Research indicates that a 1% reduction in speed results in reducing the likelihood of a fatal collision by 5%. (OECD, 2008)
Takin' it easy
So, it's time for me to pay better attention to speed markers. And it's helpful to consider that we're all traffic. Everybody is trying to get where they're going. Everybody has important things to do. And me? I'm as much traffic as everyone around me is.
We're excited to announce that the Jessica Martel Memorial Foundation has received their first donation through Donate a Car. Moreover, they are all set with our program and ready to receive your vehicle donation, too.
Farming Smarter here to sustain our land, water, and soil. They are here for farmers -- for the benefit of everyone.
Farming Smarter is growing stewardship
Farming Smarter fosters sustainable farming practices. For example, wherever they can, they will partner, research, and inform. They support cost effective projects that are good for the land, air, water and crops.
Currently working in Southern Alberta, their Innovative projects include:
High value specialty crops
Precision planting canola
Cover crops across Prairie Canada
Alternative flee beetle management without neonicotinoids. What is a flee beetle? And why do they matter? Here's what the FS site has to say: Flea beetles are one of the major canola pests in Alberta. Currently neonicotinoid-based seed treatments are used to protect canola seedlings from flea beetle damage. PMRA's direction to phase out the use of neonicotinoids has caused concern for growers. Without these seed treatments different controls must be considered by growers. These may be alternate seed treatment, increased seeding rates, or foliar insecticides. These activities may have negative environmental consequences. Furthermore, they may be less helpful than current strategies and they will incur higher costs.
Curious? Check out their summer events:
Farming Smarter invites you to a summer of field school and "plot hops." You may also want to explore their farm days and learning options.
Many people don’t realize that F.S. is a registered Canadian charity. They are a non-profit funded by grants, sponsorship, and donations. Above all, money given to them stays in southern Alberta and funds locally directed farm focused research.
Your donation to this work could help them do your most critical agricultural research.
In short, if this resonates with your own values and concerns, we can help! Donate your car, truck, SUV, van, or motorcycle. The net proceeds will go to the cause you love. And you will clear the driveway, too!
It is quick, easy, and friendly! You are one click away...
This one-of-a-kind charity provides a free service of grief counselling to dying children and to children whose parent or sibling is dying. Caregivers, medical professionals, families and children can receive training. They learn to deal with grief, dying and the healing process.
Services at the centre
The Dr. Jay Children’s Grief Centre provides free counselling services to children and youth who have experienced (or are currently experiencing) a terminal illness and/or death, personally or in their family.
Bereavement Program provides counselling support after a death to normalize grief. It encourages emotional expression, provides helpful coping strategies, and supports enduring bonds.
Youth Support Program for bereaved youth is for kids between the ages of 13 and 18. The program creates a supportive environment. Grieving adolescents have the opportunity to connect with same-aged peers through art, music, drama, and sport.
Family Support Program focuses on supporting families who have experienced the death of a family member.
Camp Erin Toronto is a 3-day bereavement camp program in Muskoka for children and youth aged 6-17. Camp Erin is free and is open to any child who has experienced the death of an immediate family member or caregiver.
Where your giving goes
Dr. Jay Children's Grief Centre does not receive any government funding, and our gifts are critical. Their counseling program is in high demand and their need of ongoing funding is high.
Through the generosity of people like you, their work has made a difference in the lives of countless children, youth and families who are living with terminal illness, traumatic loss and grief. Your gift to the Dr. Jay Children’s Grief Centre helps to ensure that grieving families have access to the innovative and specialized support they need. They also mean that this support can be accessed when they need it most.
A unique giving opportunity
If this cause speaks to you, but you aren't in a position to donate a vehicle at this time, consider ECHOAGE. If you're planning a birthday party, wedding, or some such event, you can invite your guests to make a donation to the grief centre when they respond to your invitation. You'll find this link right on the charity donation page on their website.
Your donation-ready vehicle will make a difference, too! Click below and we'll get you started on your donation process.
"Road trip!" This has been the go-to vacation mode for our family of five. We recently donated our faithful old Buick Rendezvous through the Donate a Car Canada program, but didn't want to let it go without a little nod to some of the adventures it accompanied us on.
USA, here we come!
I hadn't realized, until I started scrolling through old road trip pictures, how far and wide our '09 Rendezvous actually took us. Not only did it get us down to the New Mexico Whitesands, it also explored parts of Oregon, Idaho, and Washington State with us.
It's pretty likely that our three teenagers were less enthusiastic than their parents were about these treks. Ok. It's a lot likely. There was just so much bribery and cajoling and compromising. I mean, how are you supposed to keep 5 people happy? All at once? When you're travelling hundreds and hundreds of kilometers each road trip? I don't think we ever really figured that out, and I couldn't find very many pictures of smiling teenage boys in my file. But the SUV sure served us well!
Giant array = giant dismay
'Not sure what the "Very Large Array" is? Yeah. I wasn't either. It's this:
Yup. A big field full of dishes. My hubby had seen them in a movie and was pretty stoked about detouring to "just drive by" on our way North and out of New Mexico.
One thing we know for sure about road tripping as a family is that I should, 100%, never-ever-never navigate. I mean, I can read the map and do a reasonable GPS-voice impersonation, but do not (do not!) listen to me if I decide to follow my "gut."
Because 3 out of 3 boys were totally not into visiting the Very Big Array, I was determined to souse out the quickest path to and from that field. The map showed two options: main highway, and a secondary route. It looked highway-ish. My gut said, Definitely follow that highway-ish red line on the map - it's so.much.shorter. than the real highway. My gut was wrong. Really so completely wrong.
Warning signs
To be fair, our frame of references for "rough road ahead," and "Beware: rocks on road," road signs are Rocky Mountain signs that simply note that a beautifully winding mountain highway might get a little seasonally dodgy.
Fair warning: if you come across these signs in New Mexico it means the road is made entirely of giant stab-y, tire-piercing stones. That actually pierce your tires. And leave you stranded between apparently abandoned homes along a completely abandoned road in a wholly abandoned desert.
The short cut red line that led to the Very Big Array was not a short cut. Especially not once we'd emptied the entire contents from the vehicle in order to get at and mount the spare tire, and then (after re-packing all of our belongings) limped our way 80 more miles to the array, and then on to the main highway. The array itself? Yeah, it's probably 15 minutes off the main highway. We added hours and hours to our travel time by taking the short cut.
Canadian hitch-hiker
We paused at the array. It seemed only fitting to pay it some kind of respect given all we'd sacrificed to get to it. And then nursed our poor Buick and its broken foot to the highway, praying to the tire gods that the spare would hold until we could get to any kind of civilization to buy a replacement tire for our shredded original.
The spare did not hold. It wheezed out a protesting gasp a few miles down the highway. And we were stuck. In the States. In New Mexico.
So, I went and stood in the middle of the highway. All 5'2" of mom Me. I hailed a passing truck (with a beautiful human and her dog and her threats of, "Do you know how lucky you are? No one ever stops for hitch hikers in New Mexico!") and got dropped off at a suspect looking town up the highway. The broken down shack of a garage that called itself the tire place happened to have two gentleman on the yard. I (don't judge me) pleaded our case and (I said don't judge me!) jumped in the truck with one of them and another spare tire, praying a) the spare would fit the Buick, and b) that I'd live to see that happen.
On the road again
I lived! And the spare fit. And it got us all the way to the next nearest city (none of the towns en route had anything close to a tire shop...but they definitely had some interesting places that looked like they were probably "We're totally a tire shop!" fronts for much scarier businesses...). There? We found that sanctum we all know as WalMart. And we just happened (we could do another blog on "Road Trip Coincidence: Miracle? Or plain dumb luck?") to roll up with enough time in the day for them to swap our small town spare for a less-small-town proper tire. Very big array? Very big adventure, I'd say! And I'm sure my kids would totally agree. Offered enough bribes.
Giving up the Rendezvous was no small thing for us. Canon Beach, Oregon, Seattle, Vancouver, Everywhere Alberta. Coeur d'alene, Idaho. Oh. Yeah. Coeur d'alene. Don't get me started on that short cut.
Do you have a beloved old vehicle that needs to go? Give us a call!
You have Our Gratitude
Thank you Jodi and Dan from Edmonton for donating a 2013 Audi Q7 to Breast Friends Society of Edmonton
Thank you Craig from St. Albert for donating a 2009 Mazda Mazda 3 to HIV Network of Edmonton Society
Thank you karen from kitchener for donating a 2013 subaru XVC to HopeSpring Cancer Support Centre
Thank you Spencer from Calgary for donating a 2015 Mitsubishi Lancer Sportback GTS to Calgary Drop-In Centre
Thank you John from Kingston for donating a 2005 Honda Accord to Food Banks Canada
Thank you Cory from St. Albert for donating a 2014 Subaru Crosstrek to Alberta Cancer Foundation
Thank you Trinen from Dartmouth for donating a 2008 Kia Spectra to North Mountain Animal Sanctuary
Thank you Roland from Windsor for donating a 1997 Chevrolet Equinox to Julien’s House
Thank you Susan from Qualicum Beach for donating a 1996 GMC 1/2 ton truck K10703 to Canadian Red Cross
Thank you Kume from Edmonton for donating a 2010 Ford Fusion Sport AWD to Canadian Mental Health Association Edmonton
Thank you Larry from Calgary for donating a 2005 Infiniti G35X to Alberta Cancer Foundation
Thank you Rebecca Grace from Kitchener for donating a 2015 Kia Soul to
Thank you Jason from Nepean for donating a 2006 Ford F150 to The Ottawa Mission
Thank you Chloe from Foothills for donating a 2006 Jeep Liberty to Alberta Institute for Wildlife Conservation
Thank you Audrey from Foothills for donating a 2007 Ford F-150 to Alberta Cancer Foundation
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