Self-Compassion

The days between Christmas and New Year's Day are a good time to practice self-compassion. But what is that, really? Is it selfish? Is it full of self-pity? Am I just striving for more "Me" time, or is there something deeper going on here?

Wellness - body, mind, soul

NewLeaf Total Wellness Centre has a helpful article on the "What is it?" questions we might have about this elusive practice.

Self-compassion

Simply stated, this attention to self care is about being as kind to oneself as we might be to a friend...or even to a stranger.

How do we know if we need to spend a little effort in this area? Our biggest indicator is that we're giving ourselves a hard time. Notice the ways in which you talk to yourself. Are you impatient? Judgmental? Do you criticize and blame and guilt yourself for everything from the feeling you just had to the thought you just thunk?

If you're anything like me, you might be thinking, "I'm not too hard on myself. I tell myself the truth." And sometimes we do need to give ourselves a little swift kick. Most of the time? Most of the time we need to talk to ourselves like we would attend to our best friend, or even a little child.

Because life is tough enough

It can be hard to see our own lives through a compassionate lens. We might have the habit of assessing other peoples' complex stories as painful, or difficult. We might minimize our own distress, or even suffering.

NewLeaf goes on to say,

"There are three main components (or skills) of self-compassion.

  1. Self-kindness is demonstrating to yourself the kindness that you have towards others when you are struggling.
  2. Common humanity involves acknowledging that everyone suffers. Suffering is a part of life and as humans we all suffer. It’s recognizing that if you are suffering it is not because there is something wrong with you, but that everyone has moments of suffering. Inadequacies and imperfection is part of the shared human experience.
  3. Mindfulness is noticing when we are suffering and attending to our struggle. Being mindful is to observe negative thoughts with openness. As Dr Kristen Neff, the pioneer of self-compassion, states 'we can not ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.' Lastly, a key piece of mindfulness is to remain non-judgemental when we notice our suffering and negative thoughts."

Can you see yourself in this mix somewhere? Is there room for you to tend to your own heart, mind, and body a little more gently as the year wraps-up?

As we launch (step tentatively?) into 2020, what would it be like to exchange a little self-judgment for a practice of self-compassion? What if we start by noticing when we're being too rough with our interior self, and go from there?

We've got important giving and loving and sharing and creating to do. Let's do that from a healthy and thriving place!

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Last-minute Shopping

Last-minute shopping is upon us. Is holiday giving leading to a little too much decking in the halls, and not enough holly jolly? Consider changing things up this Christmas season!

Christmas gift exchange

'Ready to exchange the tension last minute gift shopping for the magic of Christmas? What if you could gift your loved one, and benefit others at the same time?

Some of our recipients are so easy to gift. We know what they love; they'll love what they get. Some are tricky! It seems that, no matter the thought put into the choosing, the gift is never quite right.

For those last-minute shopping stressors, there's a creatively loving solution: gift a charity in their name.

This becomes a double-gift: something in hand for your loved one; something in hand for your chosen charity.

There are many ways to do this. Gifts-in-kind is one way. Check out the examples of these inspiring young people and how they've used their birthdays to benefit charity:

Beyond Gifts-in-kind

If donating items to the animal shelter, or collecting (hundreds of pairs!) shoes for give away seems daunting, consider monetary giving.

Many of our receiving charities have Christmas giving programs set up. It's quick and simple to gift a charity in the name of a loved one.

Here are a few charities that can shift the season from tense to tinsel:

The Salvation Army is a good place to start. Your gift in a loved one's name will feed, house, and otherwise assist a person in need. Or, check out your local shelters (or those near where your friends and family live). Give where you live!

Your nearby animal shelter, or a broader work (like the World Wildlife Foundation) will use your double gift to aid critters at risk.

Has an infirmity or disease recently impacted your family? A gift to the charity that best serves in that area of need will be gratefully welcomed. If you're having trouble choosing a charity to give to, visit our charities page. We'll show the name and mission statement of the charity that best matches your gift recipient!

Giving in 2020

If you have your Christmas shopping all wrapped up, we're at the ready to receive vehicle donations in the new year. Donate your vehicle on behalf of your charity of choice, and receive a valuable tax receipt in return!

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